Rainy Day

The Life and Times of a Weimaraner

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Who’s Got The Check?

After I had given up on the relationship between Ron and Jess she goes and does something so shocking…..she humbled herself and sought Ron to talk, apologize and generally have a chat. I couldn’t believe it….this is not the Jessie I know and (love?). The only reason I knew was Ron called me to tell me how mature and humble Jessie had been. I breathed a big sigh of relief.

You have to understand the day Jessie had….typical Jessie. She and Alaska had been on a roller coaster ride just trying to find a place to live….had their hopes dashed then raised then dashed once again. There was no place available that would accept a dog so they went on a waiting list but even still they were looking at paying rent of about 1500 a month. They then decided they would camp in the camping ground until a place became available….meanwhile they had been offered several jobs a piece. They go up to the camp ground to have even that tentative hope dashed. No dogs, 25 dollars a night and 5 dollars for a 5 minute shower. I cannot tell you how many phone calls I got yesterday with Jessie in tears.

Finally they got a big fat hope again. They saw a place for 1100 a month so they left the woman who was renting it a long message explaining her family history on Catalina and how desperate she was. The woman called back and curtly told her she knew Jessie’s great grandmother Dorothee (the lady in white) but that had absolutely no relevance when it came to her rental. She told her she would get back in touch and hung up.

Jessie being the funny girl that she is sent me a text more or less saying what a pain in the ass this woman was…unfortunately she didn’t send it to me, it was sent to this rental woman. Needless to say she called back and Jessie got  the message that she would not be selected to rent her house. It was the final blow and by this time she was a broken woman.
So she took her broken ass over to Ron’s hotel room and apologized profusely. After all that was over Alaska popped the question….YES!!!! He asked her to marry him. She was giddy and of course called me elated. They decided to celebrate by going out to dinner on their last night on the island. Meanwhile Ron called me exhausted and said all he wanted to do was soak in the tub then go to bed as he had been meeting with contractors literally all day.
At about 10:00 my time I get a whispery and yet panicky phone call from my beloved offspring explaining their credit card had just been declined however they had already eaten. This was just becoming quite the night to remember. Now in their defense Ron took my mothers credit card with him on the trip and once the bank saw all these charges coming in from California and everywhere in between each time he filled up with gas, they shut the card down. So this may very well have been the case with Jessie and Alaska however it was a bit late to call and find out. They had no cash and I couldn’t wire them any. This was a very desperate situation to say the least.

Its really quite funny (granted I had a few glasses of wine in me but damn funny). They had this wonderful meal and fell in love with their waitress Juanita. She congratulated them on their up coming nuptials and just told them how adorable they were. Poor Juanita had to come back and she sat down next to Jessie and presented the DECLINE slip. Jessie’s heart stopped as Alaska innocently reached for the slip to sign his name. Just as the pen was about to touch the paper Alaska too noticed that nasty little word. What would they do? Wash dishes? Cook up some tortillas? Things had become dire indeed.
As I listened to her plight my mind raced as I tried to think what I could do. I kept coming up with the same solution. Jessie had to call Ron. OH MY GOD!!!!! And that’s exactly what she ended up having to do. She tried to get me to call him but I bowed out as gracefully as I could. She then tried to get Alaska to call him but he said no as well much less gracefully so she had no choice. Surprisingly Ron was a total gentleman, explained it has happened to everyone including himself. However he did not have any cash and did not feel comfortable giving out the credit card and he was not going out so he suggested a check. Juanita (bless her heart) agreed to pay their bill and they made the check out to her. Sometimes our angels show up in the oddest of places…Juanita was Jessie’s angel.

This day I just described to you is just one day in a very long line of days that Jessie experiences consistently. Even though these Jessie kind of days use to drive me crazy and have probably aged me 20 years before my time I began to think my baby won’t be coming with us. And though the peace and quiet may be nice I shall miss her experiences. I hope she calls me constantly to keep me filled up with blog material.

The last I heard from them they were driving through Vegas. I figure they will finally be home between 2-3 in the morning. I will just so happy to see all of them.



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Another Lesson from my Dog

Today has been a day of accomplishments and disappointments. The house renovations in Catalina are going very very slow so Lord knows when we are finally on our way. Also I have come to the realization the two people I love so much may never get past their differences.
Its upsetting to me so I took the dogs for a hike. I have mine (Rainy the Weimaraner) and my daughters dog (Roux the Pitbull).
Roux and Rainy know each other very well however on most days they tolerate each other while both trying subtly to prove who is the “Bitch in Charge” or “Queen Bee”. They have had a few small squabbles in the past but for the most part they just stay in their separate corners and tolerate each other. However today I saw a shared joy between them that brought about a genuine joy at being in each others company…that shared love is a good hike.

I was kind of down when we started and just watching these two running around with big sloppy grins on their faces made me smile. There was no fighting, no jealousy….just fun in the sun.
I began to wonder if the two people I care so much about would ever be able to put aside their differences with their mutual love for me. Probably not and that’s okay. Even if they cannot be in the same room with each other it will be okay. I have been around dogs enough to know there are those times when two dogs just cannot get past their differences and never will be able to. I was always relieved if I could get the dogs in question to just ignore each other and go to their separate corners but sometimes even that couldn’t be achieved and that’s when you throw in the towel. In order to protect the innocent ones around them or to keep from others joining in on the fight (picking one side or the other) you just have to make sure they are never together in the same room or the same house.

I learned along time ago (a painful lesson….one I couldn’t comprehend) that not everyone likes me (I was young and foolish). One day I was talking to my counselor and she asked me if I liked everyone…of course I said no and then it dawned on me what she was trying to tell me…sometimes I  don’t like people because they rub me wrong, I don’t gel with their personality, I didn’t like their character or felt they had no integrity or because they did something to me that was unacceptable to me. I may be viewed by others that don’t like me in much the same way.

So back to the lesson I learned today from my puppy and my grandpuppy….sometimes two souls can find a balance around each other even if they don’t particularly like each other. Some souls may not care too much for each other but can over look their differences when a shared love of something bonds them together and sometimes two souls just cannot get past it in which case they need to learn to avoid each other to protect their loved ones around them.
This is a hard lesson to learn for me and I am sure for a lot of people but I have accepted the situation and surrendered to it. Life isn’t always a Hallmark Channel movie. But life is full of color and experiences and lessons that I would not trade for the world. I also would never trade my teachers of these hard lessons in all their many forms.

Enjoy your spring day no matter where you are and know that out there you are loved by somebody.

God Bless

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In my last post I mentioned I was getting a new Equine friend named Rose. I thought I would share some pictures of this little beauty queen. She is a four year old Missouri Foxtrotter. That’s what Penny and Prue are and if you have ever ridden one you will know when I say I could not imagine ever riding any other kind of horse. They have this lovely little gait called the Fox Trot and its so great you could literally sit in the saddle all day.

Currently she resides at the Double AA Farm in Anza California where she has been being trained by her trainer Hope Adams. As you have noticed she is a Buckskin which my other mare Prue was. For some reason I just think a Buckskin is the epitome of beauty on a horse…..maybe it was all those Gunsmoke episodes I saw as James Arness rode his huge Buckskin.

But what a beauty she is and gentle gentle. Its been so long since I have ridden a gentle horse this will be truly a dream come true. She and I will be best friends for years to come.
Anza has been experiencing some snow of late which Rose hates so I am excited to get her on the island where the balmy sea keesp the temperatures pleasant year round.

Hope has been so kind in taking pictures of her weekly and sending them on to me. I feel as if I know her already but when she arrives on the island it will be the first time we meet. I pray she likes me and that she will be happy on Catalina. The trip will be difficult for her because to get a horse on the island you have to load them on the barge that leaves Long Beach anywhere from 2-6 in the afternoon depending on the tides. It will be her first boat ride on the ocean then they will unload her on the island where she will be loaded onto a trailer to be driven into the interior to a place called Middle Ranch which ironically is the palace I first learned to ride when I stayed with the Propst family every summer until I moved to Greece. It feels like a full circle and I am beyond excited.
But that means she will have to say goodbye to her best friend pictured here, and to her family she has come to know and love in Anza.

So now you have met Rose. Once she arrives on the island after we FINALLY get there I will keep you posted on all of our adventures together.

Happy Trails

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Bad News Bears

Life teaches us many things. Sometimes the lessons are great and sometimes they just down right suck. Lord knows most of my life lessons were of the sucky kind. Jessie is facing that right now.
She spent the entire day yesterday looking for living quarters. The rent would be at least 1300.00+ a month and that’s with no dog. Her dog Roux and her are nearly inseparable. Living without her baby is not an option. The work situation is awesome. So she thought staying at a camp ground and in the meantime being on a waiting list for an apartment was do-able but last night she discovered that was not an option either. No dog, 25 bucks a night and 5 bucks for a 5 minute shower.
She called me last night feeling so defeated and cheated and frustrated and scared at the thought of living so far away from me. I felt so bad for her because I know how devastating that disappointment is.

It got me thinking about all the disappointments and frustrations I have faced over the years and I am amazed I am in such a good place mentally with all of it. Life has been teaching me patience and perhaps that is to be Jessie’s lesson as well. I wanted nothing more in this entire world than to have a horse and to live on Catalina Island since I was 2 years old. I had to wait over 40 years to have that dream realized. I had given up on all of it and resigned myself to a life without my dreams.
But dreams do come true just not always on our time schedule. I believe things happen in their own good time. Perhaps Jessie is not ready for this adventure in her life….perhaps she needs to learn more lessons to prepare her for a life on the island. I don’t know. What I do know is if its very important it WILL happen when you are ready.

In the meantime Jessie has her name on a waiting list and she can visit from time to time and thank God for blogs and face book and skype and all the other wonderful things we have now that I did not have when I was a child and was in Greece missing my Holy Trinity so much. I had to surrender to my life, accept it and just be patient. Through Jessie’s hard lessons I am learning (finally) some of the good lessons. I feel blessed and am so thankful for the life I am about to achieve. Its been a long hard road getting here. I also know that it won’t be all easy street….I am still responsible for my mother who struggles everyday with her disease. I know the disease is hereditary so who knows what life may have in mind for me. Maybe my hard lessons and hard knocks are not over but I am willing to face whatever I have to. IN the meantime I am going to enjoy my life in every way and count my many blessings.


P.S. The reason I included these pictures of my girls Penny and Prudence is because I had to give them away because I could not take them to the island with me. It killed me and as I write this my eyes are welling up again. I am lucky because I have a new friend Rose who is coming out to live on the island but Penny and Prue will forever be in my heart. Just one more sacrifice I have had to make in my life…..in a long list of sacrifices…..that’s life!!

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The Case of the Missing Tequila

My friend Eileen came over yesterday. She was bummed over a guy and I was bummed because I missed Ron. We decided to rent some movies and make margaritas. I have had this very nice bottle of Tequila that my uncle Eric gave me when we visited him in Santa Barbara over a year ago. I was saving it for a special occasion. Its Jose Cuervo in a beautiful wooden box and the bottle is even numbered…..very special.

Initially I could not find the box. Now there is a reason for this…..Ron hides it every time he cleans. He is an LCSW and deals with people and their addictions all day. Also addiction has run in his family and I have a history of addiction issues. On top of that Ron comes from a staunch LDS background and even though he is not an active member he was raised as such so some things never fade away.
Ron asked me to give it away one time and I told him no, it was a gift from my uncle and one day I wanted to use it for margaritas. I am not what you would call a drinker. My addictions were pharmaceuticals but none the less Ron worries. However a good margarita sometime is one of life’s simple pleasures. 
So Eileen and I went out and we got the mixer, I pulled out the margarita glasses and the salt and we were ready….we just had to find the Tequila. I couldn’t find it!!! It was no where then Eileen shouted out a triumphant joy that she found it behind the dog food!!!
So  we all marveled (my mother included) at the beautiful box and I slowly opened it to reveal this golden elixir. To my dismay it was almost completely empty!!!! Who could’ve done this awful thing?
That’s exactly what we pondered as we drove to the liqueur store to buy a new bottle. 
Here are a few things I came up with….
1) Ron used it as drain cleaner. The reason I say this is because when his daughter Anna and her boyfriend Rob came to visit he brought this glorious bottle of 12 year old aged Scotch. When they went home Rob left it and Ron promptly used it to unclog a drain….he said it was very effective.
2) I remember showing Jessie and Alaska the bottle before she was sober (what a freaking enabler I am) so maybe they took some however….they are never alone in the house….I would have noticed instantly. And I doubt they could’ve found it anyway.
3) The homeless guy that shouts to my mother HAMBURGER everyday might’ve snuck in but I am pretty sure I would’ve smelled him before he ever stepped into the house.
So this is a curious case of Tequila gone foul. I just thought I would share my mystery and please don’t be afraid to weigh in your thoughts as well

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Road Trip From Hell

Last night at 6:00 my time (mountain) my husband Ron, my daughter Jessie and her boyfriend Alaska got in a 26 foot diesel truck while towing my pickup to drive to Long Beach to load the barge that goes to Catalina Island with 85% of our belongings. Its 11:31 my time and they are still not there. It has been a grueling journey as they have fought extreme blizzards and a very heavy truck going 25 mph up the mountains.
The tricky part of this journey wasn’t the weather necessarily but the relationship that Jessie and Ron have had up to this point. Its been sticky and volatile and just plain ugly at times but they have seemed to come to terms with each other and this journey was the test.
When I told Jessie I was moving to Catalina with Ron and my mother she panicked explaining she still has one foot in the womb. Now mind you she is 26 but we still haven’t cut the cord apparently.
She and I have always been close. I had her young and she and I have been through a ton of crap together. It hasn’t been easy nor fun but it is what it is and we are close.
Four months ago Jessie was informed due to her alcoholism she had the liver of an old man. She knew if she wanted to live she had to quit drinking. These four months have been an incredible challenge to her that she has faced head on and I am so proud of her. But her whole world and her friends revolved around drinking so not only has she had to give up the only coping mechanism she has ever known but she has slowly had to give up friends and a whole way of life. Needless to say she spends a great deal of time with my mother and I. So the thoughts of us leaving her behind was incomprehensible to her.
So she is determined to make it on Catalina Island with her boyfriend.
On the other side of things here is Ron who sees a train wreck of a woman that “drains her mother”. He hasn’t quite understood that I think Jessie and I drained each other and lifted each other over the years. I admit there have been times that I wished had a little more peace but that seemed unlikely as long as Jessie was in my life living her life the way she was. One of the huge benefits of moving to Catalina was separating Jessie and I. so imagine his horror when Jessie told us she was coming too. So its been ugly back and forth for years but as Jessie has tackled her alcoholism Ron began to see other changes as well.
So Ron was hell bent on making this trip and was hoping his daughters could go with him but they could not. I suggested Jessie and Alaska and I almost passed out when he said he thought it was a good idea.
So off they went. In the cab of a big truck they all climbed in together and they have been on the road ever since.
Well I just got word they have arrived so now they just have to unload the truck onto the barge then take my truck and swing by the cabinet makers and the tile place and THEN they get on the boat to go to the island. They will not get there until tonight so its been a long two days together but from all the many texts and reports throughout this long night all is well. They are all getting along and are staying strong for each other. As this journey progresses for them I will keep you updated on the goings ons and pass along the pictures they send to me.
Meanwhile Jessie and Alaska MUST find work and housing in three days as Ron gets the house renovations back on track so that we may actually be able to move by mid April…..however I am a realist…..things never go as planned. In fact Sheryl Crow sings in one of her songs “Life happens while you are making plans” and Murphy’s Law just loves Jessie and I so we shall see.

Til tomorrow I bid you all Adieu

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Its been a few days since my last post. As I have mentioned before we are in the middle of moving so I have been pretty wrapped in that. However I did find time to do something I have wanted to do for a while now and that was get my second tattoo.
The picture I chose was a Fleur-de-lis with a calla lily in the background. One it is an old french royalty sign but more importantly it signifies such strong women such as Mary Magdalene and her daughter Sarah. It also is the sign of Joan of Arc and Marie Antoinette.

The colors also are important to me. The indigo on the one side of the Fleur-de-lis represents the third eye chakra, the one in the middle of your forehead, which is symbolic of ones intuition, their physic abilities, their relationship with the spirit world and ones higher self. This is that sixth sense if you will. The one that raises all those red flags when you are in a relationship with someone or if you have a “bad feeling” about something. These women I have mentioned above followed their intuitions and stuck to what they believed in no matter the consequences.
The sky blue on the other side and on the flower itself represents your throat chakra or “your voice”. These women had a voice and they were not afraid to use it. This is to remind me I too have a voice….one I should use far more than I have in the past. I have spent my life being silent to what is important to me, my feelings and my opinions. I am trying very hard to change that so this reminder may help.
The green represents the heart chakra. Perhaps my heart has been too open to others. I think in reality my heart has been closed to myself and I need to change that as well. I have been told I can be cold and aloof. In actuality its a defense mechanism because for most of my life loving others just meant a lot of pain for me.

The yellow stands for the solar plexus chakra which is the seat of your ego, your outlook about yourself and the source of your goals. Its to remind me to love myself, reach for my goals that I have so often set aside to make way for others and to stop listening to that screechy whiny voice that is my ego. It never has anything good to say about me or my feelings.
The calla lily symbolizes chastity and purity to the early Christians but represented lust and sexuality to the Romans. Mary Magdalene is often depicted in paintings holding a calla lily. I think its symbolic of “less is more”. Its such a graceful and elegant flower in its simplicity but its so divinely feminine.
So that is the story of my tattoo. Its feeling better everyday. The tattoo’s artists name is Mike Newlander and he is a freaking tattoo God!! What an artist. He is located in downtown Moab so if you are ever this way and feel a tattoo coming on make an appointment with him.

This was when I was told how much it was gonna hurt